Streetlight-Stories

“It’s about 2 a.m. here in Berlin. I’ve just recieved a lap dance from a blond wigged Davo Gould, I’m looking at a half passed out Christian, while being serenaded by Kasey rocking beats with his hands on his leg. It’s pretty fucking outrageous the rock’n’roll debauchery that Mother Tongue is wreaking here in Berlin.

Probably the most exhilerating thing that’s gone down so far on this tour – besides being in this beautiful city, meeting all the great people at Nois-O-lution Records – was my near molestation on the flight over by this 70 year old woman named Maureen.

I was stretching in the back of the plane, minding my own business, when Maureen leans next to me and starts chatting me up, asking if I’m a musician and telling me about some english man she’s flying to London to meet, whose name happens to be Brian. I say: “Hey, my name is Bryan”. She says: “What a coincidence, hey Bryan, can I put my hands through your hair, I love musicians. I used to hang out with Jim Morrison and The Doors, I was wild in the 70’s, you know, I’d smoke pot, do some coke, but I never shot up any junk. Yeah, this man Brian in London has been giving me some hot E-mails, I get orgasms just thinking about it. What do ya think Bryan, you think we’re gonna do it?” I say: “I sure hope you get down after flying thousands of miles over there.” Maureen says: “Yeah, but I really love musicians, hey Bryan, how about letting me give you a kiss”. I thought, what the hell, she’s gonna give me a little grandma peck on the cheeck cause she thinks I’m a sweet kid. Then, she comes at me with her dried up tongue sticking out – ready to get her fucking senior mack on. I’m not complaining, at least the tour is starting off with some lovin’.

Anyway, Berlin is amazing, we love it here, friday is our first show, in Dresden, we can’t wait to play.

Bryan.”